Monday, 30 March 2015

ButtHurt Magazine - Issue 01

ButtHurt Magazine - Issue 01

Well I'll be a zebra's ass. It's the first issue of ButtHurt Magazine!

Well I'll be a zebra's ass. It's the first issue of ButtHurt Magazine!




Using the word 'girl'

From ‘coloured’ to ‘terrorist’, the spoken word is a minefield these days. But the BBC surpassed itself in May last year after cutting the word ‘girl’ from a documentary about the Commonwealth Games, fearing it might cause offence.  Broadcaster Mark Beaumont, 31, quipped “I am not sure I can live that down – being beaten by a 19-year-old girl.” after  being thrown by female judo champion Cynthia Rahming:
Miss Rahming said: “I wasn’t offended – I didn’t find it sexist”, but the word was still pulled.    


Apparently there are people that have their anxiety triggered by the sound of applause. Yes, hand clapping.   National Union of Students Women's Conference in Britain recently tweeted,  "Some delegates are requesting that we move to jazz-hands rather than clapping, as it's triggering anxiety. Please be mindful!" Jazz hands in performance dance is the extension of a performer's hands with palms toward the audience and fingers splayed. It is commonly associated with especially exuberant types of performance such as musicals, cheerleading, show choir, revue, and especially jazz dance shows.

I fully expect one day to hear the phrase, "I went to a Women's conference, and a musical broke out!"

I only have one last thing to say to these sensitive types. 

Suck it!  Suck it!   Yeah!  I'm clapping! Oh, yeah. Feel it!  Feel the approval!

Smiling at women

According to a study by Northeastern University, in Boston, a conclusion was made that men who smile at women and behave in a warm, friendly, chivalrous manner are guilty of “benevolent sexism” that was, in its own weird way, as harmful as shouting abuse at a woman. The study watched 54 students play a trivia game, and concluded that benevolent sexism is "one of the driving forces behind gender inequality in our society". 

Hey, maybe the the real conclusion should of been, "This is why women date assholes."


Back in January,a model of a 66-million-year-old diplodocus was going to be retired from the Natural History Museum in London.  A "Save Dippy" protest ensued.  Dippy's replacement was a Blue Whale, and was chosen to remind us, of our immense environmental responsibilty. yaddah, yaddah.  Some people dared to say they preferred dinosaurs, which must of annoyed some enviro-nazis somewhere because out came the labelling of 'Dippy' fans as "climate-change-denyers". 

According to their bizarre logic, if you prefer dinosaurs to whales, you're basically responsible for global warming.  I'd suggest these people jump off a bridge, and thus reduce their own carbon footprint, to zero. 

Dippy, would of wanted it that way.

The Athena tennis-girl poster

A poster from 1979 of a bare bottomed female tennis player was to be part of a display at Wimbledon. The poster which has had 20 million sales since its first release, was labeled "sexist" by the Everyday Sexism Project, who apparently have nothing better to do than to label things. The critics were quoted as saying that they wanted it "eradicated from history."  That's pretty tough talk coming from a group that wants the whole world to be a safe space for overly sensitive women.  What next? Hit squads to collect and destroy the posters like a good ol fashioned Nazi book burning?  To fully eradicate it from history, would they hunt down the photographer who shot the picture?  Maybe eradicate his offspring too!  Hey, then they could make the female tennis stars wear Burqas.

The Wimbledon bosses, like most gutless corporations, apologized.

While we're at it maybe we should get rid of the Venus de Milo as well.  Not only is she topless, but she has no hands, so she probably has her anxiety triggered when people applause.  Jazz hands everyone, jazz hands!


Apparently Minecraft is too violent for the country of Turkey.  Turkey’s Family and Social Policies Ministry says the blood-drenched game is too much for kids.  Their concern is that kids might confuse the real world, with the game world where if you continually hit an animal, it turns into a plucked chicken or a cut of beef. 

Yeah, I tried that myself once.   I beat a car with a stick, but it refused to turn into a Swanson's t.v. dinner.

This concludes this issue of Butt-Hurt magazine.

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